Youth Camp Training

Yesterday was a school holiday because its the feast day of St. Benedict. YFC San Beda held its Youth Camp Training at Chinese Garden in Rizal Park. I was late since I woke up 10AM (the call time is 9AM) because I finished some works until dawn that day. The Talk 1 was about to finished when we arrived. Talk 2, 3, and 4 was given in the afternoon. The training ended by a worship. I was amazed because there were new faces I met. Exactly, there were sixteen of us who attended the youth camp training. Praise God! Its the first time I saw the College of Arts and Sciences in a big number during YCT. My heart jumped in joy seeing those new breed of Bedan YFCs and I know that our family will grow after our upcoming activities. I am excited for this academic year. I am excited for Youth For Christ San Beda College. I am excited on how He will moves each one of us to do our respective job. I am excited for the upcoming days in serving Him together with the amazing people. I am excited for His plans for our campus. Definitely, it will not be easy. I know in the middle, our faith will be tested, but what our former officers told us, keep inspiring each others especially when the passion is starting to fade. The smile on our face that can be drawn today, I claim that it will still be drawn at the end of this academic year. This is not just an organization or a group, its a family who will always be there for you, pray for you, and see the best for you. That in all things, God may be glorified!

God Moves in Mysterious Way

I am a romantically inclined person where I pray that a happy ending is waiting for me soon. I am praying that someday there is someone who will love me unconditionally. A love that God is the center, a love that is real.

But its not easy to have one because along the way your faith and patience will be tested. At an early age, I entered into an immature relationship because of peer pressure.I have a little idea about commitment and relationship back then. I acted silly, clingy, and childish. I rushed and that relationship failed. 

Another relationship came. This time I thought its real since we both came from the same community. We both served and we love what we were doing, but I was wrong. I entered into a relationship with a wrong perspective about commitment. I thought it will last, I thought he is the right one. In real, it was ten months relationship of lies. 

After those relationships, there's a trauma on me not to have one anymore. I came to a point that I planned to finish my studies and enter into a congregation to become a nun, because I hate to love. My perspective about boys changed that I almost think they are all the same. I played with others' feelings and end up hurting myself. I became hard-headed. I said I love you, but I did not mean it.  Impatience eat me up and I forgot my worth as a woman of God. From then, I always asked if I am still worthy to be love, to serve Him. Questions came to my minds that even me can't answered. I feel unworthy.

That was changed when I met people in community who taught and explained to me the real meaning of "True Love Waits." Those people became His instrument to taught me a lesson about love. Truth slapped my face. I went to confession and felt guilty about myself. God taught me four steps in life: 1. Accept 2. Let Go 3. Move on 4. Let God. That was the first step I did. I looked for my old self again. From that steps, I learned to love again. I learned to love people that love me and not pushed them away from my life. I know my worth as a woman, that I am precious in His eyes. I set high standards when it comes to love life. I promised to myself that it will be after two years (See In Two Years) that I will enter into a relationship again. God made a new person and now He is molding me to be the best. It will not be an easy journey, but I know His instruments will guide me along the way. 

Broken Friendship

These past few months, I doubted my friends and asked myself if they were real or fake. I was disappointed with myself because I trust people easily although I just met them in a short period of time only. I am the kind of person that did not let friendship be ruin because of money, but RESPECT is a big word for me. 

Here are two situations:

• A friend whom you met in just one month and get closed borrowed Php 1000. He said he will pay when his salary will be released. At the end of the month, when you asked for the payment, there is something wrong happened when his agent committed an error on which account the money will deposited. After that, he never answered your calls knowing that his phone got lost and until now, there is no communication between the two you.
• The worst situation is when a friend of yours told you that she will deposited the profit of your lanyard business three months ago when she arrived in her province. As you reminded her about the money. there are so alibi that she will tell you, that sometimes its already unbelievable. The worst thing is that she is not answering your calls, texts and pms in facebook and twitter, although your sure that she read it because of the word "SEEN."

My dear friends, maybe you already consumed my patience. I may not rant totally in twitter or facebook. But through this blog, I can freely explain what I feel on what you're doing to me right now. I can accept explanations but no one from you do it. I am not demanding, but I think I have the right over the money. If you used it, which I think, you did, just tell me. I can give you time to pay for it, but not now as I see your posts in social networking sites that you are eating in different expensive restaurant in town. I am so disappointed. I know I have also fault with what happen but I don't deserve what you are doing to me right now. Where is the respect? Are you going to throw and end the good friendship that we started? I am still controlling my feelings right now, but don't wait the time that we will see each other personally. Its not about the money, its about the respect. 

Missionary

As I looked back on my early years in Youth For Christ, a smile can be drawn in my face and realized how a clueless person like me about this community will fall in love each day serving through Youth For Christ. It all started with an invitation to attend a youth camp in high school based, after saying that magic word of "Yes," my perspective in life started to change. 

When I graduated, the question was "Where will I continue my service?" God answered it days after the ILC- Baguio. I served in the community based especially during the preparations of the PYC. I went to places in our province that I had never been and I was amazed and trained to be independent. This community taught me to be mature, to think according to my age, and be sensitive to the feelings of other.

As I entered college four years ago, I lost my passion in serving. In five months, I got into vices which even myself can ever think that I can do it. Its true that when an evil tempted you, you can say no, but its hard to resist and I was once a victim. After one semester of sinful actions and temptations, I longed for service. If there's one word I can describe my service to Him, it will be an "addiction", because even you stop, you will come to a point that you will search for it. God made a way. He gave me a new set of family that will take care of me and let me feel I am not alone as I journey my dreams. God gave me "Youth For Christ-San Beda College." 

Its been my 4th year in the campus based, and I am one of the oldest in the family now. New sets of Bedan Youth For Christs came and coming, but my heart is filled with excitements and joys seeing them happily serving the Lord. I may leave them a year from now, but I will make sure I will leave a remark to them. I will not leave the family who molds me the person what I am now, who always lend a shoulder to lean on every time I have a problem in the different aspects of my life. I will not leave them not in a good condition. I will make surely that there are people will continue the mission and vision of YFC in every campuses.

I don't know what will be my next missions in life. I don't where this community will bring me, but one thing is for sure, these missions will mold me to be a better person, to teach me lessons in life, to be true to myself, and allow me to experience the abundant love of Him. I am excited and my heart jumps for joy and will never let fear to overcome me in saying Yes to Him. I may not be in a high position, but I believed I am called and I am one of the chosen.

Thank You Lord. I will never get tired proclaiming Your greatness. I will always be a Missionary. 

IN TWO YEARS...

Its been two years and 5 months since my last relationship and now people (including my family) are asking me why I am not having a boyfriend again. Well I just said "Its not easy to be in a relationship."

These past few months, I admitted I became impatient. I easily fell with people I get closed with and went beyond my limitations. Yes, I feel and experienced the "kilig feeling," but one thing is for sure, it did not last.

I asked for signs last summer, and I did not failed, because He gave it to me weekly. God let me think what are my priorities in life and ranked it from one to ten. Then the question: "What number is your love life?" 

1. Myself

2. Studies

3. Family

4. Friends

5. Service

6. Career

7. Love life

and so on...

After thinking my priorities, I just cried and realizing how impatient I am for longing a relationship that may not last. Yes, there are people who can have love life while they are studying or serving, but sometimes you have to ask yourself if you can also do it. I realized that I am not like those people. I can be distracted easily and I overthinked situations in my mind especially I am alone. 

And as a new academic year started last month, I promised that this year will all about HIM, my studies, my family, and friends. They are my priorities for now. Maybe God is not letting me know the person I'll spend the life with because there is an aspect of my life that is not okay and I think its about my studies. I will prepare myself to be the best for him. I will graduate first and take the CPA Board Examination and if I will pass, that will be the time that I will enter into a relationship that will be a God-centered. I know it will take another two years, but I will use my singleness as a season to have a stronger relationship with Him.

The Man I Love Most

"I may find a prince someday, but you're always be my king."

He is a native from Loon, Bohol and the eldest child of Mr. and Mrs. Pedro Roferos. He finished his undergraduate course at University of Bohol ( formerly knows as Rafael Palma College). After how many years after he graduated, he married Vicenta Lapasa, also a native of Loon, Bohol and they were blessed of five children.

He's not an ideal man for others because of his vices, but despite of that, I love how he raised us. Yes, he spoiled me. At the very young age, what I want is what I get. I may cry in front of him when he did not give what I want, but at the end, like the Father up Above, he will held my hands and say let's go. After school, there is a new toy for me from him. Its either a dolls, toy houses, books, or casette tapes. 

A loving father to his children. I remembered that we always went strolling every afternoon, washed our dogs, bought our favorite drinks, and many more. I always get his cigarettes and throw them and I love how he became silent when he found out I was the one doing it to his vices. I love how he delivered his joke to make me stop from crying. He's awesome and I can feel his love for us every day. 

I love how he cooked my favorite dishes and during my last recognition in elementary, he surprised me as I went home, lots of foods that look likes its already my graduation. I love how he let me checked his phone every time I played Space Impact there. I love how he stopped from his chores just to do what I want. I love how he carried me every night I fell asleep in our sala. I love he kissed my forehead and said goodnight. My king is lovable.

Whatever happens, you're always be the best father, more than what I expected. Eleven years is not enough, but the memories we had that time is what I will cherish 'till we see each other again. I grow older, but your legacy is always with me. Thank you for existing in my dreams. It puts a smile on my face as I wake up every morning. Whatever age I will be my king, I will always be your little girl and princess. I love you.